PAST KREWE THEMES
"Where the Barflies Aren't"
Fruitflies, dragonflies, damsel flies and Spanish flies. Swatted musicians and potted barflies. Music is not a crime! The secret ball. Ms Scarlett's brews were luscious and the 'other' ball was trashy good.
"Here Comes Da Brides"
We were last in the parade because everyone knows the bride comes last. 65 brides, more or less dressed in white.
The wedding gowns and wedding cake float were amazing. Even more amazing was the surprise of Richard proposing to MS Scarlett at the lineup. How perfect was that?
"HEY a-POCKY-lypto WAY!"
Just when Jesus was promising to come for the second time, the Mayans decide to end the world. Damn!
Calendar Girls and Pornquistadors. Our float was used as a late entry for Orpheus a couple of weeks later.
"CRUDE Lubes New Oilins"
Tar balls, dispersant sprayers and canned mermaid. Tony Hayward got his life back but lost his soul. Botticelli would have loved the float.
"Nagin's Farewell Roast ... In Hell"
It took a couple of years after this parade to finally burn his effigy; his indictment is taking longer. Chef hats, and pig ears. Hot Banner Girls.
"CRUDE Gives in to Sub-Primal Urges"
The clan of the (foreclosed) cave bear made the best of it in loin cloths and animal skins. We employed out of work bankers as human mules .
"When Life Gives You Shit ... Grow Mushrooms"
Elysian Fields can be a breezy place to stand on a winter's eve. Elwire and mushroom hats.
"CRUDE Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"
Chickens. Again. But we were kind of hard to miss. Nagin.
(Comments by Queen Mum Marie below)
2006: “C’est Levee”
Royalty: Walter Williams
CRUDE Theme: “CRUDE Sleeps in the Wet Spot”
Walter’s Mr. Bill and the classic “OH, NOOOOOOOOOO! was perfect for the post hurricane feelings! [edit: Katrina flogging Rita, Mr. Bill the voyeur, the siding from Liz's house.]
Royalty: Al Johnson
CRUDE Theme: “Cock Fighting vs Cock Biting”
Great chicken costumes---who could forget the yellow tights? And the float was another masterpiece by Richard. Rotating Human Cock and Rooster Cock in the boxing ring. Too much!
2004: “The Quest for Immorality”
Royalty: Colleen Salley
CRUDE Theme: “The Quest for the Holy Tail”
This one was prompted by a museum exhibit of Egyptian artifacts entitled the “Quest for Immortality.” It was clearly one of our best. Medieval costumes were spectacular. A castle on the float reminiscent of Monty Python stuff. The best!!
2003: “Off the Record”
Royalty: Lionel Batiste
CRUDE Theme: “Dat Westbank Virus”
Not one of my favorites because it was not crude enough. But the others liked it and the costumes were kind of cute.
2002: “Depraved New World”
Royalty: Andrei Codrescu
CRUDE Theme: “DepravedHeart”
Another great ballad year. Jack Irion did this one. It’s too long for me to retype but if you have a fax machine I can copy and fax it to you. In fact, all the newsletters should be copied and kept by someone besides me. Costumes were Joe’s masterpieces---School-Girl cloned sheep and Scottish warriors! What a blast!) I still have the fuzzy 38 DDD bra I wore for that one.—cloned girl-sheep have fuzzy tits---did you know?
2001: “2001: A Space Fallacy”
Royalty: Ernie K-Doe
CRUDE Theme: “CRUDE Probes Uranus & Other Dark Places”
We had huge battles over whether to spell it Fallacy or “Phallacy.” Don’t have a clue as to why we did not go with the PH version. I loved it. Another great float year with a planet that looked like a butt. Ernie K-doe died within the next year so we honored him just in time.
2000: “The Idiots & the Oddities”
Royalty: Walt Handlesman
CRUDE Theme: “We Saw Wagner Beat His Meat”
What could be a greater NO “oddity” than this take-off of the grocer’s theme “You can’t beat Wagner’s meat!” I think this was the first year we had Richard and Mary with us and Richard did a completely wild float with a rotating penis that spewed confetti! We were spec-fuckin-tacular!”
1999: “Urban Myths”
Royalty: Ray Kern
CRUDE Theme: “Enough Tail for Two Cities With apologies to C. Dickens”
This was the year of the great alligator head costumes with red lights for eyes. We had a totally cool ballad (done by Mark Hall, my cohort for 15 yrs) about hoes morphing into alligators at daybreak and hiding in city sewers till night fell. I retyped the ballad below for you because it is so cool.
1998: “Souled Down the River”
Royalty: Irma Thomas
CRUDE Theme: “The Devil is in the Gumbo Andouille Hate It!”
This was the year Kraus and K&B were sold and we lost those historic old NO establishments.
1997: “KdV Goes Deep”
Royalty: Buddy Diliberto
CRUDE Theme: “Deep in Enema Territory”
The parade was on the night before the superbowl between Green Bay Packers and New England Patriots. CRUDE had chosen green shirts with gold lettering ---because Wal-Mart had more green t-shirts than any other color and it was totally serendipitous that Green Bay went to the bowl.. Needless to say, the Green Bay fans loved us!
1996: “The Anal-Varsity Waltz”
Royalty: Ronnie Virgets
CRUDE Theme: “KdV Achieves Decade-ence”
1996 was the 10th anniversary of KdV.
1995: “Blood Drive for the Lestat Family”
CRUDE Theme: “Unnaturally New Orleans”
what could be more “unnatural?”
1994: “The Ballot of New Orleans”
Royalty: Danny Barker
CRUDE Theme: “Pubic Servants”
This was the year Marc Morial was elected to office. The newsletter was great. Seeds of Decline did “every man a queen” complete with caricature of each candidate as a drag-Queen.
1993: “Posthumorously Yours”
Royalty: Henri Schindler
CRUDE Theme: “Dead Ducks”
We wore huge pink Styrofoam duck bodies that covered the entire torso! It poured rain and was cold & miserable that year so the styrofoam was a blessing in disquise---it served to keep one warm and relatively dry. This was the year Momus, Comus and Proteus stopped marching due to a new ordinance that would not provide police protection for any goup that would not admit blacks and women to membership. The old white men’s clubs refused to march rather than change. Hence the “posthumorous” theme.
Enough Tail for Two Cities—A Ballad (with apologies to Chuck Dickens)
It was the test of times,
It was the worst of times.
But the worst of times
Was oft the best of times.
While enjoying sex pleasures and bearing no shame,
We shudder to tryst, with an end – “Crying Game,”
The Bourbon Street hookers, the floozies, the harlots,
All beacon to innocents picked up in car lots.
Just as the morning approaches with dawn,
The girls dump the guys, even real men named Jean.
Into the sewer the ladies they slide,
Knowing that sunshine their skin can’t abide.
Morphing to gators, and gators galore,
A gator now slinks, where once stood a whore.
Now all through the daylight, they lurk down below,
Emerging past darkness all ready for show.
Plying their trade and flashing their titties,
They’re a great boon: Enough Tail for Two Cities!
A sad life perhaps, but please don’t feel pity,
They’re just fulfilling the “Myths of the City.”